Outlet: Thrillist

It has come to my attention that many people enjoy cheeseburgers made with American cheese. I believe this is not only appalling, but also wrong. It is my conviction that American cheese is, if not The Worst Cheese for Cheeseburgers, a Very Bad one. Furthermore, if you believe otherwise, I consider you a craven, tasteless creature full of homogenized wretchedness and latent lactose shame.